Today I was in Walmart doing some shopping…..minding my own business. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of you, Erica. Just at that moment, you weren’t on my mind. Not until I came up behind a woman who looked just like you. She was your height, hair color and length, body type and about the same weight. I’ve been doing much better lately. That was until I saw her. I miss you so very much.
Friday will be one year since you’ve left us. It seems like just yesterday. I continuously want to wake up and have you here.
I’ve been reading a book about a woman who lost her son to cancer when he was just 8 years old. She explains grief so well. For a time, we walk in it. Then, as time goes by, grief walks beside us. Like our shadow. I can see now how I walked in it, and didn’t have the ability to function normally. I’m not normal now, but I’m learning the new me. Grief is not my friend, but it’s here to stay. Every now and then I run into something or someone who brings it to the surface.
I still have so many questions. I’m still unsure of death and what becomes of us. Do you see me? Do you hear me? Do you see my heart ache for you? Cry for you?
I’m still so torn up at times, and I find myself just burying it because the pain is just too much to bear.
Someday, I pray that when we meet that we’ll know who we are to one another.
If you’re with God, please ask Him to help my heart.