I never forgot Mother’s Day- I just
haven’t had the chance. I was thinking
about you today, and I found this
card. You will always have my heart…
You will always have my love…even
across the miles. Mom, without realizing
it, you keep me going out here, determined
to succeed. I love you.
All my Love,
Today I’m going through things, as we’re preparing to move. I’m always finding memorabilia from Erica. I was going through a trunk when I found some cards and letters from Erica. I’m not going to sit down and focus on them right now, because I don’t have the time or the energy it takes to grieve over them. I’m just going to post them, and later when I re-read this, I’ll take that time that I need to allow myself to really cry. Even thinking about it gets me emotional.
This first one she wrote to Paul and me (no date);
Sometimes, I get really confused.
I don’t know what to do.
And, more often than not,
I end up doing the wrong thing.
Sometimes I get really scared.
I feel like there is nothing to live for.
Like nothing matters anymore.
And I want to lay down and cry.
But, every time this happens,
You two are there.
When my world is falling apart,
You two are there.
And, no matter what I say,
I know that you love me.
I know that you care.
And I will always love both of you.
And it is times like these
That help me in ways that seem impossible.
Words cannot express the way I feel
About what I have put you through.
I can’t live with myself anymore,
If I can’t change myself for good.
All I ask is one last chance
To prove myself and give you your return.
The time is long since overdue
To return the love you have so tenderly
Just given to me, when there are times I
Feel I don’t deserve it.
Dad and Mom, I love both of you in
ways I cannot begin to express.
No matter what happens, nothing will
ever change that.
Sincerely, with ALL my love,